The Dark Disaster
by LdyGryffindor
Summary: This is a Crossover between Harry Potter and a Series of Unfortunate Events What Happens when The three Baudelaires find out that there new guardian is none other than Lord Voldemort? Will he be as evil as he is in the books? This story is now complete!
1. Into the Woods

Dear Reader,

If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but there lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and the one you are about to read may be the worst of them all.

If you haven't got a stomach for a story that includes a Dark Lord, chocolate frogs, a boy named Harry Potter, a horrible villain, and a dark forest, then this fan fiction will probably fill you with despair. I will continue to write this tragic fan fiction, for that is what I do. You, however should decide for yourself whether you can possible endure this miserable fan fiction.

With all do respect,

Amelia

In otherwards, considerthis a warning

Chapter 1

Into the woods

If you are interested in stories with happy little ponies and birds flying around then I suggest you stop reading this fan fiction right now and go and read something else like those slash stories you kids enjoy. In this fan fiction nor is there no happy beginning but there is no happy ending. This is because not very happy things happen to the Baudelaire orphans. There journey starts when the three Baudelaire are in the car with Mr. Poe, one dreadful morning.

"What is the name of our new guardian?" asked Violet

"Well I can't really pronounce it… hmmm it starts with a V… voooolduuumee? I don't know but I guess we will find out when we meet him." replied Mr. Poe

Violet the eldest of the Baudelaires, love to invent, and anyone who knew Violet could tell that she was thinking hard, because her long hair was tied up in a ribbon to keep it out of her eyes. Violet had a real knack for inventing and building strange devices, so her brain was often filled with images of all sorts of weird and strange gadgets and gizmos and she never wanted to be distracted by something as trivial as her hair.

"Well do you know where he lives?" asked Klaus with much hope for a better answer

"He lives up into the woods…er…I have the address here somewhere, hold on." Replied Mr. Poe

Klaus, the middle child loved books. When the Baudelaire parents were still alive, they had an enormous library full of books containing every subject known to man kind. Even though he is only twelve years old, Klaus wore glasses making him look older and intelligent. In fact he was intelligent.

"Gacku!" shrieked Sunny which probably meant "Look at that strange forest ahead of us!"

Sunny the youngest of the three Baudelaires, loved to bite things. She was an infant and like most infants she only spoke in unintelligible shrieks. For instants not to long ago little Sunny was shrieking "yodu" which probably meant I hope our next guardian is as nice as Uncle Monty was.

By now, all three of the Baudelaires were looking out there window, for right in front of them was not just a forest, but a very dark forest which led the children to believe that there next guardian was going to be just as bad as Count Olaf.

"I don't like the look of that forest." said Klaus

"Oh don't worry about that children." exclaimed Mr. Poe "Your new guardian likes to live in the dark. He says it makes him feel more younger and alive."

"How can living in the dark make him feel so young?" asked Violet

"Well…" replied Mr. Poe "I really don't know the answer to that question I guess its just one of those thing you cant really explain."

But before any of the Baudelaires could ask another question something there way was coming into view. A dark mansion like house was right in front of them.

"Ahh here we are children!" exclaimed Mr. Poe

All three of the children looked out the window. The house was big and dark and like most dark houses this one seemed really unwelcoming and unpleasant. They were nervous and I wouldn't blame them either. Wouldn't you be nervous if you were going to live in a dark house for the rest of your life? I thought so. Anyways back to the story. Now… where was I? Ah! Yes now I remember. As the children got there luggage they, very slowly and very cautiously headed up the steps towards there new home and lived happily ever after…

Sorry those are the words I want to write but then there would be no story for me to write. As they headed up towards the front of the door the children looked around. There was nothing alive just piles of dirt. Not a single flower in sight. But if you though that was weird wait till I tell you about the front door. It was completely black except for the knocker. It was a silver skull with a snake on it. As the children were going to go and knock on the door, it opened automatically and there stood a tall dark figure with red gleaming eyes.

"Hello." said Violet "My name is Violet, and this is my brother Klaus and my little sister Sunny"

The Dark figure step forward some more into the light so that the children could see his face. They stepped back afraid as he did so.

"Hello children, my name is Lord Voldemort but you may call me Uncle Voldy."


	2. Uncle Voldy

Chapter 2

"Uncle Voldy"

You may be familiar with the phrase "Don't judge a book by its cover", and if you are not then please take this time to learn something new. "Don't judge a book by its cover", means that even though things might look ugly and destroyed on the outside, the inside maybe filled with joyful and happy stories that you enjoy. As for the Baudelaires, Uncle Voldy was that torn and shredded book and to there surprise he was filled with happiness.

"Please don't be frightened children come in." said Voldemort in an extremely welcoming voice.

They collected there bags and walked in the front door. Mr. Poe, however did not.

"Mr. Poe, will you kindly enjoy us for tea in the parlor? I've made my famous and delicious chocolate chip cookies!" exclaimed Voldemort

"No thank you, I actually have to get back to the bank now. I have a lot of work that needs to be finished. Children, if you have any questions you can call me at the bank."

And with that said Mr. Poe hurry back to his car and drove off.

"Well." said Voldemort to break the silence. "Shall I show you to your rooms?"

The three of them nodded in silenced and followed there new guardian throughout the darkened house. The interior of the house isn't as bad as the exterior just the same. But what the children did notice was that he had a lot of pictures of snakes, some of them were skulls, but most of them were snakes. This reminded them of Uncle Monty, there last guardian who was killed by non other than Count Olaf. This upset the Baldelaires even more and they did not speak a word as they were heading up the stairs to there new rooms but Voldemort decided to break that silence.

"Now, Mr. Poe has given me a lot of information about you so I decorated your rooms by what you like and enjoy!" said Voldemort

The children looked at each other with very bemused looks on there faces, but when they got to Violets room, they soon understood what he meant.

"Violet, this is your room."

He opened the door and Violet stood there in shock. For on one side of her room was her bed, dresser, bathroom, and closet which was quite lovely if you asked me. But on the other side of the room was an inventors dream. Tools of all sorts and kinds, a table for her to build on, shelves of different kinds of material and more! Violet had to tie her hair up in order to absorb all this in.

"Is this room alright for you?" asked Voldemort

"It's absolutely lovely!" exclaimed Violet in a somewhat dreamy voice

"I am glad to here that." replied Voldemort

Then he walk to the opposite end of Violets room and opened up another door.

"Now, Klaus, I wasn't sure what books you have or haven't read yet so I brought up some books from my library that you might enjoy reading." said Voldemort as he was showing Klaus his room.

Klaus was just as astonished as Violet was. On one side of the room was an elegant bed with a matching closet and bathroom on the first half, on the second half was a library fit for a king. An expression which here means so large that he probably needed his own card catalog to find what he was looking for!

"Will you be fine in this room?" asked Voldemort

"Yes it's perfect!" exclaimed Klaus in a dazed tone

Then he walk down the hall a little ways and opened up another door. As you probably guessed by now, this was Sunny's room.

"And now don't think I would forget about little Sunny." said Voldemort

Sunny left her siblings in wonder and crawled to her room. Her expression was just the same as her older siblings. For on one side of her room was a crib made of metal which was good for chewing on yet it looked really comfortable to sleep in. and on the other side was a toy chest filled with all sorts of different things to chew on. Whether it be wood, metal, plastic, or rubber, Sunny had all sorts of things to pick and bit on.

"Wow!" exclaimed Sunny

"I am so glad you children enjoy your rooms, now I have to go and prepare dinner now. But before I go I would like to point out that there is an intercom on your bedside tables. Now an intercom is…"

"We know what an intercom is." interrupted Klaus

"Ok that's good so I don't have to explain it to you. But before I go I would like to tell you that since tonight is a special night, I will be preparing lobster for dinner." Announced Voldemort

"Oh that sounds wonderful! Would you like us to help you in the kitchen?" asked Violet

"Oh no that quite alright, you should be getting settled in while I prepare dinner."

And with that said he walked down the hall and into the darkness. The children absolutely loved there rooms! After each of them were done un-packing Violet went to go and examine all the tools Uncle Voldy had given her. After Klaus was done, he immediately went to his new library and look at his books. One which really fascinated him was Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. And Sunny, well she found a wooden bat and started to gnaw on it. They were all in there own dream world until…

BEEP Its time for dinner children, if you don't know where the dinning room is just go to the front door and make a left. It's the first door to the right.BEEP

Violet went to go get Sunny and waited for Klaus to come out of his room. It took him a while because he had just begun to read Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

"So, what do you think of Uncle Voldy?" asked Violet

"He seems like a pretty nice guardian…but in a weird way." replied Klaus

"Eduni!" exclaimed Sunny which probably meant 'I like him no matter how creepy he is!'

"Sunny is right. Lets head down to dinner." said Violet

And the three Baudelaire children headed down the stairs to a dinner they will never forget.


	3. Dinner Time!

Chapter 3

Dinner Time!

As they walked into the dinning room they noticed that it was lighted more than all the other rooms of the house. They also noticed that Uncle Voldy was wearing a very odd apron that said "Kiss the Cook". They tried not to laugh as they made there way to there seats waiting for dinner.

"And now dinner is served." said Voldemort in a very French tone.

He lifted the silver domes off the plates and with it came steam. There in front of the three Baudelaires was a deliciously prepared lobster dinner with golden biscuits on the side.

"Wow Uncle Voldy! This looks so delicious". said Violet digging into her meal

"It is delicious." said Klaus in a corrective tone, he had already started on his meal

"Yum!" shrieked Sunny as she was gnawing off one of the lobster legs.

It was probably one of the best meals they had, had since… well since ever! The lobster was cooked to perfection, the biscuits were baked with love, and the water was oh so pure with just a hint of lemon in it. I am probably making you very hungry now by describing all this delicious food to you. Well my advice to you then is to run off, grab a snack and come back to read what happens next.

Even though the Baudelairs were somewhat full from dinner, they were wondering what Uncle Voldy had made for dessert.

"Now for dessert I didn't make anything simply because I have this very large assortment of candy and I was wondering if you would like to help me eat it?" asked Uncle Voldy

"Of course! We would love to, but not too much though, I'm afraid your scrumptious dinner has filled us up." said Violet

Suddenly, a large belch came from Sunny followed by laughter. This probably meant that Sunny was agreeing to what Violet had just said.

"Ok kids here is your dessert!" exclaimed

He placed a basket with all sorts of assortments of candy right in front of them. The Baudelaires had never seen such candies before. There were Chocolate Frogs, Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, Fizzing Whizbees, Acid Pops, Jelly Slugs, Treacle Fudge… I could go on forever but I've got a story to tell. They didn't know what to eat first! Violet went for the Chocolate Frogs, Klaus went for Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, and Sunny went for the Treacle Fudge.

But little did Violet know that Chocolate frogs came to life when you first opened them they come to life. And when she did, she screamed.

"What's wrong Violet?" asked Voldemort in a fatherly tone

"There is a real Frog in there!" Violet exclaimed as she was pointing towards the Chocolate Frog that was hopping along the table

"They are not real frogs, just Chocolate frogs. Someone put a… I mean someone invented a way to make them move when you first open them and still have them taste the same." said Voldemort

"Oh well that's a relief I must say." said Violet picking up the Chocolate Frog and biting the head off of it.

But then Voldemort soon turned to Klaus. It was obvious that he had eaten a really bad flavored bean.

"Yuck! I don't know if it was me, but that jelly bean tasted like sardines!." exclaimed Klaus with a very sour look on his face

"They are Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, and the mean every flavor." said Voldemort

"How can some one make jelly beans with every single flavor possible?" asked Klaus

"Well, I believe there is a book on Bertie Bott up stairs in your library Klaus if you are interested in reading about it." replied Voldemort

"Thanks, I will look into it." said Klaus carefully picking out a jelly bean and making sure it wasn't a bad flavor.

Sunny, on the other hand, was enjoying her desert marvelously. She was biting at it with all her might, but soon gave up when she realized that it was too much for her four sharp teeth.

"Children, before I head off I have an announcement." announced Voldemort

The Bauldelaires stop what they where doing and focused all of there attention to Voldemort.

"Due to my eventful schedule, I have hired a nanny to look after you. She is from France and knows how to speak English, but not very well. She will be here in two days." said Voldemort

"Oh what is her name?" asked Violet

"Her name is Gigi." replied Voldemort

"Uncle Voldy, you never told us what you do for a living, what is it?" asked Klaus trying to change the subject

"Well, I am a…" started Voldemort but then he stopped him self to think. He looked around and finally he came up with a profession that won't fool them.

"I am a biology and chemistry teacher at…" he stop himself again only to realize he need a school name… only one came to mind.

"…at Hogwarts High." Voldemort said making it sound realistic

"Really? that's very interesting." said Violet

"Yes infact I have photos to share, would you like to see them?" asked Voldemort

"Plemo!" shrieked Sunny which probably meant "We would love to see your photos!"

Voldemort left the dinning area to get his photo album. But as he was coming back from his room, he realized that the photos were moving. He took out his wand and muttered a spell that turned the moving photos into original non moving photos.

"Here they are." Voldemort said as he handed the leather bound book to Violet

When the Children were looking at the pictures they couldn't believe all the things that he did in his childhood.

"Wow Uncle Voldy! You were an ice skating champion?" asked Violet in awe

"Yes, I was it was quite fun to but I had to give it up when I started teaching." said Voldemort

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny were looking at all the different things Voldemort did when he was young. But when Violet turned the page, a somewhat of a torn and crumpled up photo fell out. She uncrumpled it and looked at it in wonder. For on the photo was a boy. Probably one year older than her. He had dark raven hair and his green eyes were hidden beneath his round glasses.

"Uncle Voldy, who is this?" asked Klaus as he took the photo from Violet.

Voldemort gave a large sigh and stared out the window.

"Children, how many of you would like to here a bedtime story?" asked Voldemort


	4. Story Time!

Chapter 4

Story Time!

One who is being dishonest is one who is not telling the truth. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER, lie to some one or anybody because it will eventually come back to haunt you and that that would be extremely unfortunate for you. Voldemort, however, was about to tell his biggest lie yet, a lie so fake, and so unbelievable one could say that it was almost true, even though it is not.

"I am going to tell you the story about that boy you see in the picture." said Voldemort

The Baudelaires gathered around Voldemort so that they could here **his** story

"He was one of my students not to long ago, and boy was he a trouble maker. It all started when I had accidentally over heard him talking about pulling his biggest prank ever on one of the teachers. So being that I am a teacher I decided to listen in and discovered that he was going to pull a prank on me! And when I was teaching! I didn't know what to do so I decided to fight fire with fire, which is a very complicated expression that means…"

"We know what it means." said Klaus interrupting Voldemort

"Ah yes well, I decided to pull a prank on him and I thought it was a pretty cleaver prank if you ask me. So the next day during school, when he was going to pull his prank on me, I called him up to the class. Why? Cause I glued his butt to the seat of his desk! Yes I thought it was so funny to see him squirm around trying to break free of the glue but, his parents where so furious with me that they called the police on me and I was arrested for no reason! But the **worst** part was, is that no matter how many times I try to pull a prank on him, he always gets me in trouble." said Voldemort pretending to have a sad soft voice

"Uncle Voldy, what is his name." asked Violet

"His name is Harry Potter." answered Voldemort

"And why is this Harry Potter always pulling pranks on you?" asked Klaus

"Well, he thinks im not grading his papers fairly enough. And I grade everyones work equally and give them the grade that they deserve for the work they turn in." answered Voldemort

"Have you ever tried disguising your self?" asked Violet thinking of someone very evil that has gotten away with loads of evil schemes and wrong doings.

"Yes I have tried a certain **disguise **once but, he could see right through me and instantly got me in trouble. And worst of all, I over heard him saying that he was going to pull a really big prank on me to the point where I could loose my job as a teacher!" said Voldemort just making that up in his head

"Oh, my that is very terrible!" said Violet

"Is there anything we could do to help? Maybe we could save your job at Hogwarts!" exclaimed Klaus

"Yes, Klaus good idea, I could invent something for you that can help you save your job and pull a prank on that no for good nothing student." said Violet

"And maybe I could read up on how to pull a prank and do it successfully." added Klaus

"Wolick!" exclaimed Sunny which probably meant, "And maybe I could help by pretending to be an innocent baby and when he least expects it I can bit off his leg with my four sharp teeth!"

"That's all very kind of you but I just don't think its possible." said Voldemort trying to act dramatic

"Sure it is!" exclaimed Klaus "Anything is possible if you just put your mind to it!"

"Well." sighed Voldemort "Alright! But, you must not tell anyone of this, not to anyone, and not to Gigi."

"Well, we are going to have to tell her anyways, she is going to be our nanny by tomorrow and she probably going to wonder why we spend so much time in our rooms working instead of playing." said Violet

"Yes, you are right, but not **yet**, not until she is really suspicious of what you three are up to." said Voldemort

"Ok, we will start tomorrow!" said Klaus with much enthusiasm

"Perfect." said Voldemort in his head "Everything is going as planed."

Just then a black owl came swooping in with a letter for Voldemort. He gave the owl a treat and it flew off into the darkness of the house. The children stared at Voldemort in wonder and confusion.

"Did that owl just bring you a letter from the post?" asked Violet in confusion

"Yes, I trained him to bring me my mail from my…" Voldemort stop to think of the muggle name for a box that the postman puts your mail in.

"…from my mailbox." said Voldemort finally thinking of the name

"Well that is very impressive I must say." said Klaus

"Yes it is, and will you look at the time! It is getting very late, you three should be in bed by now." said Voldemort trying to change the subject

"Yes it is late, well ill see you in the morning Uncle Voldy!" said Violet

"Goodnight Uncle Voldy." added Klaus

"Night Voldy." said Sunny

"Goodnight children." said Voldemort

And with there final words, the Bauldelaires hurried up to there rooms for a goodnights sleep. But Voldemort remained in the room. He picked up the letter and read the first few lines on the envelope and stared at it in great confusion. For the letter was from Gigi.


	5. His worst disguise yet

Chapter 5

"His worst disguise yet"

_Dear Monsieur Voldemort,_

_Due to some recent events, I will be arriving tomorrow afternoon instead of Monday. I am so very sorry monsieur for letting know so late but things came up to quickly and so I am arriving tomorrow. I look forward to looking after these orphans for it is my job, but do not worry! Everyone at home calls me Marry Poppins because I can take care of children and make sure that they grow with knowledge!_

_Sincèrement,_

_Gigi_

Voldemort stared at that letter for a very long time in wonder. "If something as just come up, wouldn't she not be coming early? And who the in the world is Marry Poppins?" His thoughts were confusing him, so he went to bed wondering why Gigi was arriving early the very next morning.

BEEP "Good morning children! I have a special breakfast for you this morning, and a special surprise! So you better get up before your breakfast gets cold!"

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your mornings often reflects on how your day will be. For instance if you wake up in the morning in a very big bed, sun shining in your window, and the smell of bacon down the hall, then you know that you will probably and most likely have a good day. But if you wake up to the sound of thunder and lighting, and you are in a small bed with no food to be smelt down the hall, then your day will most likely be a bad one. As for the Baudelaire's they had no idea what kind of day they were going to have.

Violet got up, got dressed and was the first one in the kitchen. Followed by Klaus and Sunny.

"For breakfast this morning." announced Voldemort "I made you funny face pancakes!"

He placed the plates right in front of them and to there surprise all they wanted to do was laugh. For the pancakes were funny faces!

"Wow, Uncle Voldy!" said Violet taking her first bite "You are a really good cook!"

"Yeah these pancakes are so heavenly!" said Klaus with his mouth full

"Rewoi!" shrieked Sunny which probably meant "I may not be able to sink my teeth into these pancakes and bite on them with all my might, but they are really good!"

"Thank you." replied Voldemort "They are my special recipe."

The Bauldelaires finished there breakfast too quickly, for it was very good, and instantly went up to there rooms to get ready for the surprise Uncle Voldy has for them.

"I wonder what it is." said Violet as she was tying her hair up with her ribbon

"What ever it is, I bet its probably going to be something better than those jelly beans I had last night." replied Klaus

"Eknad!" shrieked Sunny which probably mean "And I hope its something better than that incredibly hard fudge I tried to eat last night."

"What ever it is, we should be thankful for it and Uncle Voldy, because as far as I can see, he is one of the best guardians we have ever had!" said Violet

But just then, they heard the door bell, followed by Uncle Voldy's voice on the intercom

BEEP "Children, come downstairs I have a special surprise for you."

And without much hesitation the children raced downstairs wondering what there surprise was.

"Now I know Gigi wasn't suppose to have arrive early but, the surprise is that Gigi has come early!" announced Voldemort

"Oh well that's nice." replied Violet

"Would you like to meet her?" asked Voldemort

"Sure." replied the Baudelaires

"Gigi, will you come here for a moment? There's someone id like you to meet." called Voldemort

Now, if you have been following the story of these three orphans, since the very beginning, then you know that Count Olaf is always lurking around these poor children, plotting and scheming to get his hands on the Baudelaire fortune. Within days of the orphans' arrival of there new place, Count Olaf and his nefarious assistants- the word "nefarious" here means "Baudelaire hating"- are usually on the scene, sneaking around and committing dastardly deeds. And now just as the Baudelaires thought they were safe with Uncle Voldy, they were very wrong. For right in front of them was not a nanny they had expected to see. It was Count Olaf in a very bizarre wardrobe. He was wearing this grey dress with a white apron tied around his waste, he was wearing incredibly tan nylons so that they would cover up his tattoo, and he had this very phony orange wig that could almost be mistaken for Fat Louie! The Baudelaires didn't know if they should be scared or start laughing there heads off, for it was his worst disguise yet.

"Oh! Mousier Voldemort!" Count Olaf said in a ridiculously high, French, voice, as if he were really a nanny from France. "They are so very adorable! What are there names?"

"You already know are names, _Count Olaf_!" snapped Violet

"I do not know of this Count Olaf you speak of." replied Count Olaf

"Now, now, Violet, I know that you have had very miserable experience with Count Olaf, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't accuse Gigi of being Count Olaf. Besides she's from France." exclaimed Voldemort

"But this really is Count Olaf!" exclaimed Klaus

"Fiti!" exclaimed Sunny which probably meant "My siblings are telling you the truth! You must believe them!"

"I am so very sorry Gigi, the Baudelaires have had a very unpleasant experiences in the past and they think that you are Count Olaf, who by the way, is a very evil man that I will tell you about in just a second." said Voldemort in a very apologetic manner

"But this really is Count Olaf! You must believe us! Surely you wouldn't believe this fake disguise!" argued Violet

"Excusez-moi ?" exclaimed Count Olaf

"Children I think you need to head upstairs and take a nap, I think you have had too much sugar and need to sleep it off." said Voldemort

"But…" exclaimed Klaus

"Go! Maybe you will feel better when you wake up and realize that Gigi is not Count Olaf."

Sadly the Baudelaires headed up to there rooms with only one thing on there mind.

"What is that delinquent up to now?" asked Klaus in a very angry tone

"What else? It's quite obvious that he is after our fortune." answered Violet

"Yes, I know that Violet, but the real question is, how is going to steal it this time?" asked Klaus

"You know." said Violet as she was tying her hair up "That is exactly what I am trying to figure out at this moment."

"We can't let him find out about what we are doing for Uncle Voldy." exclaimed Klaus

"I know, that's the hard part, trying to help Uncle Voldy while trying not to get killed or kidnapped by Count Olaf!" said Violet

"So what do we do know?" asked Klaus

"We do what we have always done Klaus, put our heads together and come up with something miraculous that will hopefully save our butts." replied Violet

And the three of them put there heads together, to come up with a plan that will hopefully save all of there butts.


	6. Mission Impossible

Chapter 6

Mission Impossible

Wormtail sat there in the silence of his Lords office. Waiting. Waiting for his Lord to come back with the good news. Finally the door swung open and there stood Lord Voldemort.

"My Lord, how are the children? Are they going to…"

"I can't take it anymore." cried Voldemort

"What?" asked Wormtail in great confusion

"I can't handle being nice! It's just not me! I can't take the cookies and the lobster dinner and and…the chocolate chip cookies! I just can't take it any more!" cried Voldemort in a childish manner.

"Would you feel better if you killed someone my Lord?" asked Wormtail

sniff "Yes, I think that's a great idea. Bring me my address book!" demanded Voldemort

Wormtail went to Voldemorts desk and pulled out a big black book, and handed it to Voldemort.

"Hmmm….let me see here." said Voldemort flipping through his address book. " I killed her last year so that would be a no…Oh my god! I can't believe this person is still alive… I though I killed Larry last week…Oh well….be back in a flash Wormtail."

And with that said Voldemort apparated out of his office. It wasn't long before he came back with a satisfied look on his face.

"Ash Wormtail I feel one hundred percent better now!" exclaimed Voldemort

"Good now can we get down to business?" asked Wormtail

Violet peaked out of her room, and sure enough there was Count Olaf, dusting one of Uncle Voldy's snake statues.

"Is he near by?" asked Klaus

"He's near." replied Violet

"Well this is going to be hard. We have to come up with the greatest prank and find a way to unveil Count Olaf's stupid disguise." said Klaus

"This isn't going to be easy which is why," said Violet tying up her hair "We are secretly going to come up with a prank for Uncle Voldy, and find a way for Uncle Voldy to realize that this is Count Olaf! Not Gigi the maid from France!" exclaimed Violet

Klaus got up and peaked through the door again. But no one was down the hall.

"He is gone." whispered Klaus

"Good, now let's get down to business." said Violet

"You realize these children are muggles my Lord, how on earth are you going to get them into the castle?" asked Wormtail

"With a simple spell I have been practicing, they will be able to see the castle and interact with the students which will blend them in with the rest of the group." replied Voldemort

"Wow my Lord do you really think it will work?" asked Wormtail in awe

"Will it? I most certainly think it will." replied Voldemort

"Yes but, wont the students suspect something when they enter Hogwarts? What about the infant? And what houses will they be in?" asked Wormtail

"No one in that school will suspect a thing, and as for the houses I was going to put them in Ravenclaw because those brats are really smart, but then I figured, the closer they are to Harry the better so I put them in Gryffindor." replied Voldemort

"That's good, my Lord, that's good. So now the real question is, how are they going to kill Harry with out getting caught and with out them knowing?" asked Wormtail

"They are coming up with a plan as we speak." said Voldemort

Wormtail sat there in utmost confusion until it finally hit him…literally

"When we pull this prank." began Violet "It needs to be sneaky, well planed and thought out, and will not in any way shape or form harm Uncle Voldys job."

"Well lets review now, as I recall, Uncle Voldy has pulled his pranks in class when everyone was around…shouldn't he be pulling them outside of class or during the breaks?" asked Klaus

"Yes, good point, he should have done them during lunch, or snack break which would have been a lot sneaker." replied Violet

"Hmm what could we do durning the break that is sneaky and easy to get away with?" asked Klaus

The Bauldelaires sat there in silence, but it wasn't long before Gigi entered the room.

"Monsieur Voldemort sent me to check up on you." replied Olaf in a rather high French voice.

"Oh, really? I don't believe that nonsense!" said a very annoyed Violet

"Vous évasion biseautée des orphelins de cette fois, aucun mater ce qu'il prend, je vais obtenir votre fourtune !" said Olaf

"Huh?" replied Sunny

But lucky for Klaus, he knew exactly what Count Olaf was saying.

"La fois prochaine que vous décidez de vous déguiser en tant que fille, vous pourrait vouloir considérer mettre sur plus de maquillage à la couverture vers le haut qui dévastent la tache derrière votre perruque !" replied Klaus in a very fluent French tone

Olaf stood there with his shiny eyes wide open, completely bewildered by what Klaus had just told him, he immediately ran out of the room.

"Klaus! I didn't know you could speak French!" exclaimed Violet

"Mom and Dad had several books in the library on the French language." replied Klaus

"Frais!" shrieked Sunny, which here meant, "What ever you said, you sure showed him!"

"By the way what did you tell him?" asked Violet

Klaus laughed, "Lets just say that he will no longer be bothering us for a while…wait that's it!"

"What's it?" asked Violet

"If we slip something into his food with out him noticing and without the item being harmful we could pull the biggest prank ever!" exclaimed Klaus

"Yes…that is a good idea but what is it that we are slipping into his food…and it would have to be invisible to his eyes and taste." added Violet

"What if…no….wait…yes…Helium!" exclaimed Klaus as he was thinking out load to himself

"Helium? If I'm not correct Klaus, I believe that is a gas, what we need is a liquid." added Violet

"But Uncle Voldy is the Chemistry teacher! I'm sure he knows away to turn helium into a liquid. If we succeed with this, Harry will have a high squeaky voice for the rest of the day!" said Klaus

"Klaus, this is a brilliant idea! We must tell him right away!" exclaimed Violet as she headed for the door

"Wait a minute, not yet, not until Count Olaf far away from being near Uncle Voldy." said Klaus

"Your right…so now what do we do?" asked Violet

"I will go to my library and look up stuff about helium and how to pull a successful prank, in the mean time, you and Sunny should try and find a way to get passed Olaf." said Klaus

"Ok!" replied Sunny

"But my Lord! Are you sure this is going to work? I mean, remember the time when you tried to steal the sorcerer's stone? That went horribly wrong…Oh! And remember what happened last year? We were supposed to kill Harry, but instead we end up killing Cedric Diggory! That was complete chaos! Are you positive this plan is going to work!" exclaimed Wormtail

"Believe me when I say, he is not going to expect an attack from 3 orphans." Replied Voldemort in a very evil voice.

"Oh, that's good my Lord, that is good!" said Wormtail

"Isn't it? Muhahahahahahahahahahcoughchoke grr….I hate it when that happens!" choked Voldemort

"So now what?" asked Wormtail

Voldemort gave an evil smile, "We make 'Helium'."


	7. Hogwarts High

Chapter 7

Hogwarts High

One of the greatest myths in the world- and phrase "greatest myths" is just a fancy way of saying "big fat lies"- is that troublesome things get less and less troublesome if you do them more and more. People say this myth when they are teaching children to ride bicycles, for instance, as though falling off a bicycle and skinning your knees is less troublesome the fourteenth time you do it more than the first time. The truth is that troublesome things tend to remain troublesome no matter how many times you do them, and that you should avoid doing them unless they are absolutely urgent. Obviously, it was absolutely urgent for the Baudelaire orphans to get to Uncle Voldys office without being seen by none other than Count Olaf.

"Now Sunny, you know the plan, when we dash off to Uncle Voldy's office, you are too keep Olaf away from his office by all means possible." said Violet

"Means?" asked Sunny

"It means to keep Olaf away from Uncle Voldys office by doing everything you can in your power to stop him." replied Violet

"Ok!" shrieked Sunny

And Sunny crawled off into the halls of darkness.

"Are you ready Klaus?" asked Violet

"Ready as I'll ever be." replied Klaus as if he were going to save the world

And the two set off to Uncle Voldy's office.

"My Lord!" screeched Wormtail "What ever are you going to poison Harry with?"

"Wormtail, bring me the Vile For Death." exclaimed Voldemort

Wormtail walked over to Voldemort's cupboard and scanned its contents. Finally, he pulled out a bright red bottle with the initials V.F.D.

"Perfect, this poison is one of the deathliest poisons around. Infact, it is illegal to even be sold or manufactured anywhere. Luckly I have the recipe for it and one of the collector's bottles they used before they stopped making this stuff." said Voldemort

"Yes yes, that's all very interesting but is it strong? Will it be strong enough to kill Harry?" asked Wormtail

"Even the smallest ounce of this stuff can kill 3 people alone." replied Voldemort

But just then there was a knock on the out side of his office door.

"Uncle Voldy! It's us! May we come in?" asked a very anxious Violet

"Just a sec!" called Voldemort in his most sweet voice

Instantly he pulled out his wand and started to make his so called office in to a muggle office. Finally the last thing he had to worry about was Wormtail.

"Get out of here before they see you!" exclaimed Voldemort

"But how?" asked Wormtail

"Slaps face My god you are so stupid! The last time I checked you were a wizard! Now if you do not apparate out of here before I lose my temper I just might cut off all of your fingers!" yelled Voldemort

"Yes my Lord." whimpered Wormtail

And with a loud crack, he disappeared from Voldemorts sight.

"Come in children." said a very sweet Uncle Voldy

Violet literally tore open the door and closed it shut with her brother behind her. Out of breath Violet began to tell Uncle Voldy of their brilliant plan.

"…and so, when we enter the school, we will pretend to be new student from a nearby school. But what we need to do is to make sure that Harry is our school guide and shows us around the grounds and stuff like that. Then, come time lunch, we will have to sit with him because well we are the new students!" exclaimed Violet

"Then when he least expects it, we slip the helium into his drink or food, and he will have a squeaky voice for the rest of the day!" added Klaus

Voldemort tried to act surprise, but it was hard considering that he already knew what their plan was simply by reading their minds.

"That is a very excellent plan you guys came up with!" said a very excited Voldemort

"We shall do this tomorrow! I am still on suspension for my last act with Harry but I can pull a few string and get you guys in their."

"Really? And what about Sunny? How is she going to get in to the school with out people being suspicious about her? asked Violet

"Just tell them that your parents are out of town and that no one else can look after your baby sister but you." replied Voldemort

"Yes that's a good idea but helium is a gas…how are we going to get it into a liquid?" asked Klaus

"I am the chemistry teacher! I always keep spare helium- liquid and gas- in my cupboard." exclaimed Voldemort

Voldemort got up, walked to his cupboard, pretended to scan for something, and turned around with a bright red vile in his hands.

"Behold! Liquid helium! But, I will keep this into my office until tomorrow but first I must give you the school uniforms to wear tomorrow." said Voldemort

Voldemort tossed them black robes and ties. All of which-except for the black robes- were scarlet and gold with a lion imbedded on the robes.

"Is the lion the school mascot?" asked Violet

"Well there are four, depending on what house you are in, but since Harry is in Gryffindor you too will be in Gryffindor." replied Voldemort

"Is there anything else we should know about the school?" asked Klaus

"I think you two should sit down." said Voldemort

And for the rest of the evening, Voldemort explained to them the ups and downs of Hogwarts High.

The next day was an interesting day to the point where you need more than words to possibly describe this event. After eating another home cooked meal by Voldemort, the three Bauldelaires headed upstairs to go and put on their uniforms. It didn't take long for the three Baudelaires and as Violet was eyeing her self in the mirror she had a lot of comments to make about the uniforms.

"I don't know if it's me, but these robes are way too big and heavy…unless that's how the dress code is." said Violet as she was tying her red and gold tie.

"This is pretty strange, but we must blend in with the students otherwise our plan will fail." said Klaus

"Susika!" said Sunny which meant along the lines of "Well at least I don't have to dress up in a uniform."

"But remember Sunny, you cannot say a word or mention Uncle Voldys name." added Violet

"Ok." replied Sunny

"Well, lets not just stand here all day and look at ourselves in these ridiculous uniforms, lets go down and pull one of the greatest pranks ever!" exclaimed Klaus

And with that said they headed down stairs to the front hall.

"How are we going to get there?" asked Klaus

"Oh well, the school isn't too far from hear so we will be walking, but don't worry! It's only a miles walk." exclaimed Voldemort

"Well a little fresh air will not hurt anybody, let's get walking!" said Violet

And they all headed off into the forest, about three fourths of the way, Voldemort stopped them.

"Hold on there a moment children I need to see if there are any wild animals ahead of us." exclaimed Voldemort

"Ok." replied Violet

Voldemort dashed off behind a tree pretending to be far away. He took out his wand, pointed it at the Baudelaires and muttered a spell under his breath.

"Eguriazgrgiron." muttered Voldemort

A soft purple beam shot out at the end of his wand and disappeared. His spell worked.

"Sorry for the long wait." said Voldemort as he was jogging his way back to the confused Baudelaires. "But I could have sworn I saw a mountain lion…you can never be too sure until you know."

"That's true." added Violet

For about another 5 minutes they were walking deep into the dark forest. And then there was light.

"Children, welcome to Hogwarts." said Voldemort as he pulled back one of the branches from the tree.

Now, there are many ways for me to describe the Baudelaires reactions. First of all they were very happy that they didn't have to walk anymore, second they were mesmerized by the beauty and elegance of the school, and thirdly they have never seen a school so big that they need an entire castle to fit all of their students in. But, there is only one sentence I am going to use to describe what they saw in front of them.

The Baudelaires could not believe there eyes.

"This is Hogwarts High?" asked Violet

"Are you sure this is the right place?" asked Klaus

"Castle?" asked Sunny

"Yes, a very big surprise. And to answer all of your questions, yes this really is Hogwarts. Now let's get down to business. Violet, I am going to leave you in charge of the Helium. There is only enough Helium in that vile for Harry's voice to be squeaky for the rest of the day so when you poor it in his drink, poor the whole thing." said Voldemort as he handed the vile to Violet

"Now the front gates" continued Voldemort "Are right there, see where I am pointing? Good, now you know the rest of the plan and are there anymore questions?"

(chirp chirp)

"Alright then, I wish you the best of luck. Meet me back here at the end of the day."

And with that said the Baudelaires headed down to the front gates of Hogwarts with the Vile For Death.

"Harry Potter, your time has ended." cackled Voldemort in his evil voice


	8. Not my glasses

Hey there!

Chapter 8 is finally here and! i kno most of you have been complaining about my grammer soo i took this chapter to the lovely Aunt Josphine (hells627angel83!) thank you! she also leaves a hilarious message for me to post

A/N: I would just like to thank my awesome grammar-checker, hells627angel83, for making this chapter better and more bearable for all of us! Hells627angel83 spent time she didn't have to go over this chapter, since God knows that I totally suck at grammar AND spelling! Check out her stories, they're amazing! And for all of your grammatical needs, contact her, you won't regret it…even if she does insult your grammar.

lol i do admit her storys are awsome and that i so totally encorage you all to read them...i also admit that i do suck at grammer...

hey speaking of grammer im sure you would like to hear this funny story...believe me you will laugh

so i got a detention the other day...parents are still mad but guess why?

i corrected my teachers grammer

and the sad part was

i was correct the whole intire time

anyways here is chapter 8!

Chapter 8  
Not my Glasses

Due to the steepness of the hill, it took the Baudelaires approximately 10 minutes to reach the school gate. And when they did they hesitated before going in.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Klaus as he looked up at the three hundred foot gates.

"Of course it is! Remember this is for Uncle Voldy!" said Violet as she reminded her little brother of all the great things Uncle Voldy did for them.

And with that said, both of the Baudelaires knocked on the gate. Instantly, the gates began to open without a trace of anyone being there to open them.

"Wow." gasped Sunny as she watch the gates open before them.

With extreme caution, the Baudelaires walked into the entrance to the school and took a left turn.

"Hmm let's see here." thought Voldemort as he was trying to think.

"One large chair, One big bucket of popcorn…EXTRA BUTTER!" emphasized Voldemort as he was conjuring this up with a flick of his wand. "One large Dr. Pepper…NOT ROOT BEER sigh last time it was root beer…and…

…A bag of sour gummy worms!"

Having said all this, he sat down in his 'movie style' chair and began to chow down on his extra buttery popcorn.

"And now playing in a  
theater near me…The Death of Harry Potter directed by Lord Voldemort! And Produced by Avada Kadavra Productions! Muhahahahaha!" laughed Voldemort as he chugged down his Dr. Pepper.

"We're lost!" exclaimed Violet as she made her way through all the weird green plants.

"Well, judging by the weird green plants, I think we are in Gardening 101." said Klaus

"How are we ever going to get out!" exclaimed Violet. But just then, a tall grey-haired teacher in emerald green robes came walking their way. She had a very strict look on her face which made the Baudelaires very nervous.

"You! What are you 3 doing here I thought-"

But something stopped her half way through her sentence.

"You must be the new students!  
My name is Professor McGonagall, I believe you are in the wrong classroom. Here, allow me to show you to your first class."

They followed Professor McGonagall out of the weird green plants and into the castle.

"Everything seems to be working out perfectly." hissed Voldemort as he stuffed gummy worms into his mouth.

There was a loud pop, and Voldemort turned around to see who it was. It was Wormtail.

"Any good news Wormtail?" asked Voldemort

"No, but I did save money on my apparition insurance by switching to Geico!" said Wormtail excitedly.

Voldemort rolled his eyes and continued to watch the  
show.

"Look Klaus the pictures are moving!" exclaimed Violet as she pointed at one of the portraits.

Klaus laughed at the idea.

"Violet, they are simply TV monitors that look like moving paintings, very clever use of technology might I add." stated Klaus.

"Hey who are you calling a  
monitor!" howled one of the portraits.

"Interactive TV monitors, very impressive." said Klaus as he eyed one of the portraits.

"This way children." called out Professor McGonagall.

They followed her until they came to a door.

"Now, I don't have your lists of classes yet but in the mean time I will put you in History of…" she paused as if she was going to say something but thought over what she was going to say.

"History of Magicians." finished Professor McGonagall.

"Oh, well, that's interesting… who is our teacher?" asked Violet.

"Professor Binns is your teacher." replied McGonagall.

"Do you know when lunch is?" asked Klaus eagerly.

"I will leave the rest of your questions to your student guide, Hermione Granger. Look for her after class." replied McGonagall.

And with that said she opened the door to the classroom.

"Professor Binns, these are the new students, I know they arrived late but they got lost in Herbology." said McGonagall.

"What new students? I don't think that…"

But something stopped him in his sentence.

"Welcome! Please take a seat in the back. Today we are talking about the invention of card tricks!" exclaimed Professor Binns.

And all three Baudelaires sighed a heavy sigh, for they knew it was going to be a long eventful day.

"This movie sucks! I want my money back!" yelled Wormtail as he was throwing his popcorn at the 'screen.'

"Shhhh…quiet the best part is coming up soon!" whispered Voldemort.

"But that's what you said about Lord of the Rings, Pootie Tang, and Legally Blonde! And none of them turned out to be good movies…they all sucked!" exclaimed Wormtail

"But this one is way different… someone dies a tragic death in this one." whispered Voldemort.

"Oh god, please don't tell me it's another one of those cheesy remakes of Romeo and Juliet." whined Wormtail.

"No even better." whispered Voldemort

"And so concludes the history of card tricks…class dismissed!" said  
Professor Binns

The three Baudelaires were literally half a sleep when Professor Binns droned on about a boring subject they didn't need to learn because it probably wouldn't help them later on in life. But when he dismissed class the Baudelaires tore out of there as if they had heard the ice cream truck.

"First thing's first, find Harry." said  
Violet.

"And figure out where on earth we are." added Klaus.

"I think we should go this way." said Violet.

And Klaus led the way, following behind him were Violet and Sunny.

10 minutes later

"We have passed this statue 5 times! We are lost…again!" exclaimed Violet.

"Well at least class hasn't started yet," said Klaus "Here, lets try going this w-"

As Klaus rounded the corner in one of the halls he mistakenly ran into one of the students causing his glasses to fly off.

"My glasses!" cried Klaus.

"My glasses!" cried the  
student.

Klaus and the student were on the floor aimlessly searching for there glasses. Violet couldn't wait any longer for him to look for them.

"Here Klaus try these, and you, I don't know your name but you try these." said Violet as she handed them both a pair of glasses.

"These aren't mine!" they both said in unison and Violet switched the glasses.

"Ah! That's better." said Klaus as he was adjusting his glasses "Yo-" Klaus started to say but when he looked at the student, he couldn't finish his sentence. There stood a fairly tall boy dressed in the same school robes as everyone else. He was looking at them as though he had just seen a ghost and would want to run away in fright, but  
didn't. He had messy black hair, and vivid green eyes. He also had some sort of weird lightning shape scar on his forehead, but this wasn't the reason Klaus could not finish his sentence. The reason why, was that he and his siblings had been searching for this student the whole entire time they where at Hogwarts.

For that student was Harry Potter…but you probably already knew that.

DUN DUN DAHHH!

Why are the teachers acting so weird around the Baudelaires? Shouldnt the Baudelaires figure out by now that its all a dangerous trick? Where on earth is Count Olaf? Why are there poorly taken pictures of Andy Roddick on my cell phone!

stay tuned as i post chapter 9!

i would also like to add that if there still is something wrong w/ my grammer...then let me know.


	9. The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly!

Hey guys! at the end of the chapter there is a special story that Rini wrote in

my journal...so i thought i should post it at the end for more laughs

Mia

b From hells627angel83: Hey guys! Sorry it took so long to get this chapter

out, That was completely my fault. I kept putting it off, and then I got really

busy and I couldn't do it anyway…so I'm REALLY sorry. Anyway, chapters for my

stories will be out ASAP, spring break is coming up soon and that means more

time, and just to make up the REALLY long wait to you guys, I'm going to put out

a chapter for i Impossible Choices /i as well. Anyway, I'd write more but I

have a date in less than 45 minutes, have fun reading! /b 

Chapter 9

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly!

"Your, your, your…" exclaimed Klaus but that seemed to be the only thing coming

out of his mouth.

"Can you tel…" said Violet but she was soon interrupted by Harry.

"Let me guess. 'OHHH Harry please tell me how you defeated Voldemort!' 'Ohh

Harry will you show me your scar?' OHH Harry, is Voldemort really fired because

of you?' Because I will not!" said Harry in a bit of an annoyed

tone.

"No actually, I was wondering if you could tell us where we might be able to

find Hermione Granger." said

Violet

"Oh…well she was behind me a second ago…Hermione!" called Harry.

A girl with curly brunette hair came running towards Harry. It was obvious to

the Baudelaires that this was Hermione.

"You called Harry." she said.

"Yes, these new students were looking for you." he responded.

"Oh, I was looking for you, McGonagall was telling me all about you…I am sorry

but I

forgot your names."

"I'm Violet Baudelaire."

"And I'm, I'm, I'm…" stuttered Klaus, and Violet nudged him on his arm.

"I'm Klaus…Klaus Baudelaire." said Klaus as he was trying to find the right

words.

"And this is our little sister Sunny, our parents are out of town you see and we

couldn't find anyone else to look after her so we brought her with us." said

Violet.

"Well, if you need

any information about anything, you come to me alright?" asked Hermione.

Violet nodded, but Klaus didn't move an inch.

"Say, what class do you guys have next?" she asked.

"We don't know yet…we haven't received our class scheduals yet." replied Violet.

"Well, our next class is chemistry…would you like to join us until then?"

Hermione offered.

"Sure."

"Well class is this way down in the dungeons, follow me."

Violet, Sunny and Klaus followed until Violet stopped Klaus in his tracks.

"What was up with you over there? And how come your all red in the face?" asked

Violet.

"I don't know! Really I don't!" replied Klaus as quickly as he could.

"Just don't do it again…otherwise we will blow our cover!" snapped

Violet.

"Alright, Alright, lets catch up already!" said Klaus.

And the three Baudelaire followed Harry and Hermione to the dungeons.

"Ohh this is very interesting…the book worm is falling for Granger!" cackled

Voldemort.

"I really think he's not her type…" started Wormtail.

"Silence!" ordered Voldemort.

Just then there was a noise coming from the bushes.

"Its probably just a rabbit." Said Wormtail.

But just then a tall eerie man came out of the shadows. He had one large eyebrow

and looked as if he was just wearing make-up.

"Who are you?" asked Voldemort with a mouthful of popcorn.

"The name is Count Olaf…and I am here to do some business with you." said the

man.

"What kind of business are we talking about?" asked Voldemort

"Tell me, what do you plan on doing with the orphans after they have killed

Harry?" asked Olaf

"What the? How the? Gigi?" was all that Voldemort could get out.

Olaf nodded his head.

"Well, I don't know! I was thinking about faking my own death and moving the

Caribbean! That way I will not have to worry about them!" said Voldemort.

"I have a better idea." replied

Olaf in a nasty tone.

"Welcome to chemisty! Now, today we will be taking a test…and yes it will

probably take the whole entire period so lets get started!" exclaimed Snape.

"A test! But we are the new students! Cant we take it next time?" asked Violet.

"Why certainly, and don't forget to study!" exclaimed Snape.

The three Baudelaires took there seats in the back next to Harry, Ron, and

Hermione.

"Oh drat!" exclaimed Hermione "Does anyone have a pen I could borrow?"

"I-I-I…" started Klaus

Violet could not believe what she was hearing so she slapped her brother on the

back side of his head.

"I have a pen!" exclaimed Klaus as he was handing it to Hermione.

"Awww, you're so sweet. Thank you, Klaus." said Hermione.

By now, Klaus's whole face was red. I was soon obvious to Violet that Klaus had

a little crush on some one…but she didn't say a word.

"I'm impressed with your genious plan." said Voldemort.

"Well, what can I say?" said Olaf.

"Do stick around for the show…my, is it lunch time already? The best part is

about to arrive!" exclaimed Voldemort.

"Certainly" replied Olaf.

"Well that was certainly an easy test!" said Hermione.

"Easy for you to say." added Ron.

"Hey guys, what time is it?" asked Harry.

Hermione looked down at her watch, "It's time for lunch! Violet, Klaus, would

you care to join us for lunch?" asked Hermione

"Certainly." replied Violet.

The three Baudelaires followed Hermione, Harry and Ron into the Dinning Hall.

"This is it!" exclaimed Voldemort.

"What is?" asked Olaf.

"The moment we have all be waiting for."

Violet took a seat inbetween Ron and Harry, Klaus sat on Harry's opposite side

and next to Hermione. Sunny was on Violets lap.

"So where are you from?" asked Hermione.

"We live in the forest…it's not so far from here." replied Violet.

"The Forbidden Forest?" asked Ron.

"Is that what it's called?" asked Violet.

"Any minute now…" exclaimed Voldemort.

"Um…Hermione, Ron, can I talk to you guys for

a moment…outside the Dinning Hall?" asked Harry.

"Sure." They replied in unison and left the hall.

"This is it!" Voldemort exclaimed once again.

"This is it Violet! Take the vile out now and pour it all in before anybody sees

you!" exclaimed Klaus.

Violet took the vile out from her robes…examining it and wondering what the

initials V.F.D stood for, or whether or not it really was helium.

"Violet!" yelled an exasperated Klaus.

"OK,J, I'm on it!" said Violet.

Violet uncorked the bottle and poured all of the contents into Harry's glass.

"Any second now!" said an excited Voldemort.

"Hey guys we're back!" said Hermione.

"So what took you so long." asked Violet casually.

"Well, we were talking about whether not to pull a prank on the Headmaster."

answered Ron.

"Man am I'm thirsty! Could you pass the pumpkin juice this way Hermione?" Harry

requested.

Hermione passed a large orange jug over to Harry.

"Come on! The suspense is killing me!"

Harry poured a little of the pumpkin juice in his glass. The Baudelaires sat in

silence as they watched Harry raise the cup to his lips.

DUN DUN DAHHHH!

Will Harry die? find out in chapter 10

And now i present a special humuros fic written by my good friend Rini

WARNING: There is a little bit of slash but its funny!

I dont know what its called but here it is anyways!

"Noo!" Harry shouted, but it was too late; Hermione had spotted the kareoke

machine.

"Oh god." Ron thought, but smiled at the brunnete

Hermione picked up the mic.

"Oh no!" groaned Harry but the music had started already...it was eminem; Just

lose it.

Harry and Ron claped there hands over there ears. It was awful!

Just then, the door flew open and a raged Draco Malfoy entered.

"What the hell? You know some of us do not want to hear your awful voice!"

exclaimed Draco

Harry after spotting Draco, rushed over to the blonde.

"Draco! So good to see you! Dont we have to talk about that thing, er...right

now!" exclaimed Harry

"What are you-"

"Remember?" Harry looked at him with pleading eyes

Draco sighed. "Right, I remember."

Outside the room, Harry took a deep breath.

"Thanks for getting me outa there."

"Um...ok" Draco mumbled. "But I do have something to tell you."

"Oh really? I made that whole talking thing up you know" said Harry

"Yeah I know. But, I..." Draco figeted. "I ...I love you Harry."

Harry blinked and then smiled

"I love you too Draco!" exclaimed Harry

Then the two boys hugged, kissed, hold hands and skipped away into the sunset.

Meanwhile...

"NOOOOO!" cried Ron

Hermione had started to sing again.

THE END!


	10. A Dark Disaster Indeed

Hey guys! Sorry it took forever to get chapter 10 out…I have been extremely busy with life and to this very moment I still am .

Mia

Special Thanks to anyone who sent me a death threat…they were very entertaining to read! Also a big thank you to Hells627angel83 for beta-ing this chapter so it is easier to read! Wonderful job as always ;-)

Chapter 10

A Dark Disaster Indeed

AH sorry my computer crashed!Here, let me fix it...ah...there we go! Now… where was I…ah! Yes…the introduction to this chapter that has nothing  
to do with the plot of this chapter! _(A/N: Just like Snicket!)  
_  
Sometimes words are not enough. There are some circumstances so utterly wretched that I cannot describe them in sentences or paragraphs or even  
a whole series of fan fictions and the suspense and excitement the Baudelaires felt when Harry was raising the cup to his lips. I have no words for the  
horrific expressions Count Olaf and Lord Voldemort had on there faces. I can think of no sentence that can describe your amazingly funny death threats  
you sent me or how cold the air was as it swooshed past the Baudelaires as a random student passed by them.

But I can tell you that Harry did not die.

_(A/N: hears crowd applauding and bows to there appreciation)  
_  
Not one single hair on his head was harmed. He survived when Violet "accidentally" knocked Harry's cup out of his hands. And when she did, the  
charm that Lord Voldemort placed on them earlier was broken. And everything went back to normal as if it were a typical day of school…

Well almost…

"What the bloody…" started Harry but then something came over him… like he was knocked in the head for a brief second. "Who are you?"

"Um…don't you remember us? You like knew are name a second ago." said Klaus. 

"Hold the phone," started Ron "You look new here, where about are you from?"

"Don't you remember us from like a minute ago? I'm Violet, and this is my younger brother Klaus and my little sister Sunny. We are not from around here because our parents just died in a fire and well most of our relatives who took us in were either killed or just hated us…but Uncle Voldy…you might know him as Lord Voldemort and…"

"Did you just say your Uncle was Lord Voldemort?"said Hermione in a scared tone.

Klaus, Violet and Sunny nodded their heads.

"Come with me…NOW!" yelled Harry.

"Wait a minute but…" started Klaus but something already had his hands tied behind back and was pulling him towards Harry.

"And where do you plan on taking us?" asked Violet in a worried manner.

"To the headmaster." replied Harry. 

"What happened to the movie?" whined Wormtail.

"This isn't good at all…the charm has broken… which means," started Count Olaf.

"That, everyone and everything is back to normal and the Baudelaires will soon find out the truth…along with Harry." said Voldemort.

"So, now what?" asked Wormtail. 

"We prepare for Battle." replied Voldemort 

"Lemon Drop." yelled Harry.

The gargoyle jumped out of the way. Harry, Violet,Klaus, Ron, Hermione, and Sunny all made there way up the spiral staircase.

"Cool! Voice activation doors! This school is so high Tec!" exclaimed Klaus. 

"What in the world are you talking about?" asked Ron. 

"Nothing." said Klaus as quickly as he can.

Soon they entered a room filled with many moving paintings. In front of them was a desk with an old man with way to much grey hair.

"Good afternoon Harry, Ron and Hermione! What brings you err…6 here?" asked Professor Dumbledore.

"These 'new students' are Lord Voldemorts spies." said Harry.

"Yeah they tried to poison him with some sort of red liquid burning stuff!" added Ron. 

"We are not spies! And we certainly did not try to poison Harry! All we did was slip some liquid helium into his cup so that he would have a high squeaky voice for the rest of the day!" exclaimed Violet.

"Yeah, and we only did it because we thought it would be fair if he got a taste of his own medicine…look we didn't think it was fair that Uncle Voldy should loose his job because of one student always playing pranks on him in the middle of his Chemistry class!" added Klaus.

"Chemistry?"

"Uncle Voldy?"

"Playing Pranks?"

"Liquid Helium?" 

"What is going on here!" shouted Harry in great confusion 

"It seems to me." Started Professor Dumbledore, "That Voldemort placed a charm on the-"

"Oh sorry, I'm Violet Baudelaire."

"And I am Klaus Baudelaire."

"Sunny!" 

"-on the Baudelaires so Hogwarts would seem like a Hogwarts witchcraft and wizardry." Said Professor Dumbledore.

"Wait a minute…there is no such thing as witchcraft! That's only fiction made up in books!" exclaimed Klaus. _(A/N: I feel that it is nessecery to state the inaccurateness of this fact. There is, in fact, such a thing as witchcraft. Hells627angel83 made me put this in here because she practices wicca, the religion of witchcraft. However, wizardry does not exist, and the witchcraft that I speak of in this author's note is not the same as the witchcraft practiced in Hogwarts.)  
(A/N: I so totally agree with her!)  
_

"Oh really Klaus? Did you ever stop to think about why the pictures on the wall were moving or why the gargoyle jumped out of the way when Harry said  
the password? It's because it's all bewitched! And if you want more proof then I suggest you look around because it is right in front of you…you just  
aren't looking hard enough." said Hermione.

Klaus took a moment to look around in Professor Dumbledore's office…there were things that he has never seen before! Hermione was right this wasn't a  
normal school where they teach you how to FOIL in Algebra or the difference between a pronoun and an adjective in English…no this was way different. 

"Ok what is going on?" demanded Violet.

"Lord Voldemort isn't who you think he is. He may be the nicest person you will ever meet, but he lives for making other innocent lives miserable. A long time ago, a prophecy was made, basically either Harry must kill Voldemort or Voldemort must kill Harry. But when Harry was first born, Lord Voldemort killed Harry's parent's and tried to kill Harry but did not succeed. So now, Lord Voldemort has been trying to kill Harry…and it looks like he was just about to." Explained Dumbledore.

"So that explains the 'Living in Darkness makes me feel so young' excuse." Exclaimed Violet. 

"And the skull and snake art through out his house." Added Klaus.

"It looks like you were fooled this whole time." Said Ron.

"So what's your story?" asked Harry. 

"Well," began Violet, "Our parents died in a fire and we are the only ones who survived. Our first guardian, Count Olaf, was the meanest  
person ever! He forced me to marry him so he could get he's greedy hands on the Baudelaire fortune! But he escaped and is on England's most wanted list. Then our next guardian, Dr. Montgomery Montgomery, was killed by none other than Count Olaf…and now we are here!" explained Violet.

"Tsp!" exclaimed Sunny which probably meant, "My sister is telling the  
truth!" 

"So now what?" asked Klaus.

"Well, I am guessing that since his first plan didn't go as expected, he is   
plotting to kill you when you return." Said Dumbledore. 

"Doesn't everyone want to kill us?" asked Violet in a sarcastic tone.

"Now now, Violet…we will fight fire with fire and surprise Voldemort with a surprise attack."

"And how will we do that?" asked Harry.

"Here is what we will do, the Baudelaires will go back to Voldemort and tell him that Harry drank the helium and accidentally passed out because of it. Then when he least expects it, you will give us the signal when he is not looking, and we will attack him!" exclaimed Dumbledore.

"Sounds like a good plan to me." Said Harry.

Suddenly, Violet had a sick look on her face.

"Violet, what's wrong?" asked Klaus.

"All this time…he was a fake! He was acting all this time! Just  
like…like."

"Count Olaf?" Klaus suggested.

"Yeah, I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe all that nonsense  
he talked about." Exclaimed Violet.

"Don't worry, he's going to get what he deserves!" exclaimed Klaus.

"But, we don't know how to use magic. And what happens if he kills one  
of us on the spot?" asked Violet.

"Don't worry! We got some old wise man and three students from this place who know a lot about this!" exclaimed Klaus.

"Lord Voldemort is going down! I've put up with his stupid act and it's  
going to end here!" said Violet.

"Shall we?" asked Dumbledore as he made his way towards the door.

Everyone nodded in silence as they made there way out of the office.

"Well, this certainly is a disaster!" said Hermione.

"More like a dark disaster if you ask me." Added Ron

DUN DUN DAHHH

What is Ron and Hermione implying? Have Harry and Voldemort come to the final battle? How are the Baudelaires going to pull this one off? Who ate my last piece of CAKE!

Find out in Chapter 11!

ALSO!

My stories are going to be on hiatis for awhile...im going be vacationing for 2 weeks (not tellin u where) and its going to be awhile b4 i get the next chapter up.

Im also estimating that there will be 4-5 chapters left...maybe even three and that will be the end of the Dark Disaster :(...no i will not be writting a sequal because the sequal has already been written...

Cheers! ;-)  
Mia


	11. The Final Battle, Part 1

Hey guys! Here is chapter 11! hope i posted it just in time! if u have any questions just email me!

Mia

The Dark Disaster

chapter 11

the final battle, part 1

Harry, Klaus, Ron, Hermione, Violet, Sunny, and Professor Dumbledore all crouched behind a bush waiting for the oppertune moment to put ''plan B'' into action. While waiting Violet noticed that Count Olaf was talking to Voldemort. She could not believe what she was seeing!

"Oh my god Klaus...look who it is!" exclaimed Violet.

No one could believe there eyes. As soon as they -Voldemort and friends- were talking loudly amoungst themselfs... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny seized the opportuntiy to pretend to just get back from pulling the ultamate prank on Harry.

"Uncle Voldy!" called out Violet as she was prettending to be tired from all the walking she did from the step hill.

"We are back! Oh my goddness you should have seen it! He had the funniest voice! But then he passed out... i think we over did it on the helium... but, it was good!" exclaimed Klaus as he was lagging behind his sister.

But violet stop dead in her tracks...she saw Count Olaf...all of the sudden fake -and when i mean fake i mean like she was acting according to plan-

started to well up in her eyes.

"Uncle Voldy! What is Count Olaf doing here?" she asked in her most dramatic voice ever

"Oh, i think you know perfectly well." Voldemort replied in his most evil voice

Both of them started to back up in there tracks.

"But why? you were our best guardian ever! i looked up to! i even considered you family! epecially since our parents died in that fire!" yelled Klaus in his most dramatic and teary voice.

" I have no use for whinny brat orphans like you anymore... you see, you three were my only way of getting to Harry," Voldemort paused for a moment to let the emotions set in. "You did not pull an inocent prank on Harry, instead you poisined him. I was never a Chemisty teacher, I have never even set foot on Hogwarts since back in the day. But now, since the prophsy is fullfilled, i have no use for you three anymore," he started pulling his wand out of his robes, Violet gasped in terror as he pointed straight at the Baudelaires. "You will be joing your dear parents soon...any last words before I kill you?"

"Yes... and that is ATTACK!" Klaus yelled at the top of his lungs.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Professor Dumbledore all shot out off different ends of the forest.

"Expelliarmus!" everyone yelled at once.

Hermione hit Wormtail and knocked him out completly. Ron hit Count Olaf and knocked him out too. Harry hit Voldemort and caused his wand to go flying out of sight. Dumbledore's glasses fell off causing him to miss and hit one of the trees...which bounce off the tree and hit him, knocking him out as well... so it was just Harry, Ron, Hermione, Klaus, Violet, and Sunny against Voldemort.

"Do you really think you can defeat me?" asked Voldemort

"Look around...you are out numbered...just give it up!" yelled Harry

" Oh i dont think so...not with a far one on one fight...after all...one must die at the hand of the other." quoted Voldemort

"Your on!" yelled Harry

"Accio Wand!" shouted Voldemort, his wand came straight back to him. He then pointed his wand at the Baudelaires. "Cagio!" he shouted (A/N: Yes i made that up...and yes i know its very very corny...but this is a parody peoples! come on wheres that smile! i know you know you think its funny!)

A steal cage that looked like it was from the 1700's enclosed Ron, Hermione, Violet, Sunny and Klaus. They were completly trapped.

"Now what? asked Ron after he tried a couple of spells on the old fashioned lock.

Violet immediatly started to tie her hair up in a ribbon. "Leave it to me." she said.

"But your a muggle!" protested Hermione, "If no magic can break the lock then nothing can!"

"There is always something!" she shot back as she was looking for something...anything that she might be able to invent her way out of.

"Avada Kedavra!" shouted Harry

"Avada Kedavra!" shouted Voldemort

Both wands emited a vivid green light from them. Both of them were at dead locks.

"Give it up! You will never win this...dark always prevails the light." hissed Voldemort

"Says who?" shouted Harry... he was tightly gripping his wand...as it was vibrating violently in his hand.

"Dont you watch any of the new flicks out? Well obviously not since your locked up in that!" Voldemort yelled as he motioned his head towards Hogwarts castle.

"Thats not true! Hogwarts is the greatist place ever! My parents went there and its the closest I will ever feel to them thanks to YOU!" Harry shouted as he put a really big empasis on 'you'.

"Your actually closer to them than you think." Voldemort said with an evil smile

Harry was completly bewildered by his last comment.

"What are you implying?" he shot back

"Join me. Join the dark side. You will learn powers beyond what that old fool taught you," at the mention of this, he jabbed his thumb behind his shoulder motioning it to Professor Dumbledore who was unfortunatly knocked out completly.

"Your a lier! Why should I join you? You killed my parents and my godfather! The only family I have left is Ron and Hermione!" he shouted, but then felt stupid for mentioning that since he had them traped he could very easly kill them off as well.

"Join the dark side, and we can bring back the dead. Im sure your father would have done the same thing if he had lost you." relied Voldemort

"Your lieing! My father would have died than join you!" Harry shouted. Tears were forming up in Harry's eyes. Voldemort had gone way to far with this conversation.

"No Harry, I am your father." replied Voldemort

DUN DUN DAHHHH!

Is this not a HP/Series of Unfortunate Events parody? Why is Voldemort just now telling Harry this news? What is Violet up too this time? When will I ever get off this plane (A/N: Yes i brought my lab top with me so i can write a little more!)

Stay tune when i post Chapter 12!

ALOHA EVERYONE!

hehe guess where Im headind too? come on peoples! its not that hard? lol

Disclaimer

The last line " I am your father." belongs to George Lucas...lol i just decided to add that for laughs ppls!

Mia

Wow not another cliff hanger! lol i kno ya'll are going to kill me now


	12. The Final Battle, Part 2

ok everybody...this story has not been beta-ed...so i posted it anyways...if you would like to beta it be my guest! i need a beta anyways...

Edit: I just recieved the beta version of this chapter and i have just posted it...this chapter was edited by...LovelyLuna! Thank you soo much!

What would the world be without beta-ers? 

cheers!

Mia

Chapter 12  
The final battle, part 2

"No, that can't be true! I refuse to believe it!" shouted Harry.

"Oho! But it is... haven't you ever wondered why the sorting hat almost put you in Slytherin?"

"That's because you transferred some of your powers over to me that night you killed my real parents... I sort of remember it to; the green lights and everything!"

"No, actually those green lights were from a wild rave I threw back in the day..." snickered Voldemort.

"I still don't believe it, you look nothing like me!"

"That's because I have always wanted to say that line."

Just as he mentioned that, both there wands broke free of the binding lock that they had been in. Voldemort and Harry were both knocked back by the after effect. Voldemort got up right away and pointed his wand at Harry. 

"_Expelliarmus_." shouted Voldemort.

Harry flew at least 30 feet in the air before crashing into a tree. He was completely knocked out. Harry's fate was now in Voldemort's hands.

"One must die at the hand of the other," quoted Voldemort, "Looks like I win, _Avada Ke-_"

"STOP!" shouted a strange voice.

Voldemort turned around, behind him was a strange looking shadowy figure that he couldn't make out. 

"Who are you?" asked Voldemort

"My name is Pedro... you killed my father Larry... prepare to die," said Pedro (A/N: Hey remember Larry? From chapter 6 I think? I bet ya'll didn't think he was that important well now he is now! Lol I'm so crazy!)

Pedro ran full speed at Voldemort with a sword in his hand.

"No you prepare to die... Avada Kedavra!" shouted Voldemort

A flash of green light passed right through Pedro. Voldemort stood there laughing as he watched the motionless Pedro fall to the ground. 

"Klaus, have you read anything about old fashioned locks or anything about locks?" asked Violet as she was franticly searching the ground for something.

"Yeah, they are really easy to pick... if you have a bobby pin in your hair that is," replied Klaus.

"We have tried every spell in the book! What makes you think that a bobby pin will get us out of here?" asked Hermione.

"Drat! I don't have a bobby pin in my hair... but... Sunny, do you have a bobby pin in your hair?" asked Violet as she ignored Hermione's question

"Voila!" shrieked Sunny as she presented Violet with a bobby pin from her hair.

"Perfect! Klaus, see if you can pick the lock with this."

Klaus walked over to the lock…. For about a minute he tried to pick it… until finally it opened and the whole cage disappeared.

"Wow... I never doubted you one bit!" exclaimed Ron.

Violet gave him a sarcastic look, but now that they were free, there was only one more thing to do... and that was to help Harry and kill Voldemort.

"Ok Ron, on my count we will cast Stupify," said Hermione as she pointed her wand at Voldemort, "...One...Two...Three!" 

"Stupify!" shouted Ron and Hermione at once

Voldemort turned around and blocked the spells... they rebounded off his hand and hit Ron and Hermione making them fly off into the distance.

"Now what, Klaus?" asked Violet

"I have an idea... I actually saw this in a movie... I don't know if it will work... but it's worth a try," said Klaus.

And with that said Klaus took off running towards Hogwarts. Voldemort realized that Violet and Sunny were right behind him.

"Well, well, where is your dear brother?" he asked as he walked towards Violet and Sunny

"He… he... ran off," Violet finally said

"And left you two to die? Some brother you have," said Voldemort

"He didn't leave us to die!" shouted Violet

"Really? Who do you think has been doing all the killing around here?" 

Violet started stepping back at the mention of this... had her brother really ran off and leave her and Sunny to die? So many emotions were running through Violets head. Until she saw Klaus standing right behind Voldemort.

"This is for everything!" yelled Klaus and threw a bucket of water onto Voldemort.

"OH MY GOD!" yelled Voldemort. Steam and smoke was coming off him, "I'M MELTING! I"M MELTING!"   
_(A/N: Blatent Wizard of Oz Rip-Off)  
_  
Slowly but surely, Voldemort melted down to a puddle of... well... nothing. He was gone.… Gone forever. Just then, Harry, Professor Dumbledore, Ron, and Hermione all came over to see what was left of Voldemort. 

"That's impossible… he was suppose to die at the hand of Harry… not Klaus," started Hermione.

Ron had a funny look on his face… he opened his mouth to say something but Harry stopped him.

"Dude… don't even think about singing that song," warned Harry

"Fine," said Ron and the group set of towards the castle. 

"Wow all this fighting has made me hungry!" exclaimed Klaus.

"You're the one to talk," added Ron.

"Say why don't you three join us for dinner… as long as you don't poison our food," joked Hermione.

"Don't worry, we wont," laughed Violet.

The six of them walked down to the great hall, as they walked in through the doors, they were greeted by a loud applause and flashing cameras… everyone was cheering them on. As the made there way towards the table, Professor Dumbledore rose from his seat.

"Quiet down everyone I have an announcement to make."

Everyone quieted down to listen to what the headmaster had to say.

"This year has been a series of unfortunate events none the less…but I am happy to say that we will no longer have to worry about death eaters or Voldemort any longer. We are safe now thanks to Klaus, Violet, and Sunny Baudelaire… will you please stand?" asked Professor Dumbledore.

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny rose from there seats. Everyone was cheering on three strange orphans with no magical power or ability… they didn't understand it but it was very amazing to them. As soon as the great hall settled down, Hermione did the most unexpected thing ever. 

She kissed Klaus on the cheek.

As he was turning 10 different shades of red and purple, Violet and Sunny were laughing uncontrollably… Harry and Ron had the strangest looks on their faces.

"This is turning out to be the best day ever!" exclaimed Klaus.

"I'll drink to that!" exclaimed Harry.

"Cheers!" said everyone at once with a goblet of pumpkin juice in there hands.

As soon as they finished there toasts, the food appeared in front of them and Klaus and Ron immediately started eating… it wasn't long before Klaus suddenly passed out on the table.

"Klaus! Klaus! Answer me! This is… what…" started Violet but she too collapsed in a world of darkness, following Sunny.

Everyone looked up at once.

"Madame Pomfree…see to it that our brave heroes get some proper rest," ordered Dumbledore, but he whispered something in her ear that made everyone wonder what he was saying.

DUN DUN DAHHHHHHH!

Why did the Baudelaires drop dead? Or are they sleeping? And what song was Ron about to sing? I will send some one a spoiler if they can guess the song!

Stay tuned to find out in Chapter 13...The LAST chapter!


	13. Its a Loverly, Loverly Spring!

Hey guys…this is the chapter you all have been waiting for…the final chapter that explains everything including why I will not write a sequel to this fic. I hope that all of you have enjoyed my crazy fic and that I too have inspired people to write humor from there hearts…wow that was pretty lame lol…it's been soo much fun writing this fic and I hope you guys had a lot of fun reading it! Also a big thank you to anyone who reviewed my story! If it weren't for reviewers…I don't know what I would do lol.

Now without further ado (for the very last time tearsobtear)…I give you

Chapter 13  
It's a Loverly, Loverly Spring!

If you have ever experienced a strange feeling like you have heard or done something before then you are experiencing what the French call déjà vu. 

If you have ever experienced a strange feeling like you have heard or done something before then you are experiencing what the French call déjà vu. As for the Baudelaires, this was exactly what they were feeling as they woke up to this annoying tune in Mr. Poe's car.

_Bum buttery flip fluttery dum deedley ooooo!_

Bum buddley bluebird is singing a tune!   
Daffodil-dillies all waken and prune!  
Bursting in bloom all the flowers assume!  
It's a loverly, loverly spring!

La lalala la lalala la lalala la lalala oooooo!   


The Baudelaires sat up in what seemed to be Mr. Poe's car. They looked around for a moment to take in there surroundings and finally realized that they were being taken to there new guardian.

"Good morning children," said Mr. Poe in a very delightful voice.

"Good morning," yawned Violet. "Say where are we?"

"I am taking you to your next guardian," replied Mr. Poe.

"And who might that be?" asked Klaus who was literally half asleep.

"Your new guardian, Aunt Josephine… she will be meeting you at her house in stead of the dock. She said that she is afraid of anything that has to do with Lake Lachrymose and apologizes for it."

"Do you know why she is afraid?" asked Violet.

"She didn't say why. Perhaps it had to do with her husband's death. Your Aunt Josephine- she's not really your aunt, but your second cousins sister-in-law. Your Aunt Josephine lost her husband recently and it may be possible that he drowned or something… but it didn't seem polite to ask her how she became a dowager," he explained to the children.

_Chit-chattery chipmunks all singing along!   
Hummingbirds join in a spring-a-long song!  
Spring is the springiest time for a song!  
It's a loverly, loverly spring.  
_

Violet, who was looking out the window and into the lake, was thinking very hard about something.

"Klaus, I had the strangest dream, and it was about are next guardian too."

"That's weird, so did I!" exclaimed Klaus.

"Ditto!" shrieked Sunny.

"Did your guardian have red eyes and loved to live in the dark?" asked Violet.

"Yes, that's exactly what my guardian looked like!" exclaimed Klaus.

_In the forest we play with the rabbits all day!  
We visit the birdies and fishes!   
There's merry and care when there's spring in the air!  
The feeling is just too delicious!  
_

And so the Baudelaires went on about this strange dream they had… and how real it was to them.

"But, wouldn't it be cool if there was such thing as magic?" asked Klaus.

"Yeah, it would make life a whole lot easier," replied Violet.

Just at the mention of this, Violet found her self staring out the window again and into the forest of Lake Lachrymose. There she saw three hooded figures wearing, what looked like to her the same exact school robes from her dream. She turned around to tell Klaus.

"Klaus, look, look! It's Ron, Hermione and Harry from our dream!" 

But when she looked again, they had vanished… there was no one there.

"Violet, you don't think our dream was real… was it?"

"I'm not sure of anything Klaus, for all we know… it could be… but then."

At the mention of this, Violet tied her hair back and stared out the window where she saw the three hooded figures.

_Bum buttery buttercups all in a row!  
Trilling and frilling and stealing the show!  
May is the merriest month that I know!  
It's a loverly, loverly, la la loverly, la la la loverly spring!  
_

"Children, we are here at the dock. Now let's get you a taxi."

Mr. Poe waved down a taxi and helped the children put there bags in the trunk of the cab.

"I will say good bye to you here," Mr. Poe said. "The banking day has already begun and I am afraid if I go with you out to Aunt Josephine's I will never get anything done. Please give her my best wishes. I wish you luck with your new guardian, if there is anything wrong please feel free to call or fax me at the bank."

"We will Mr. Poe." said Violet.

"Goodbye, children."

And the Baudelaires got into the taxi where they sped off to there new home… as they were making their way towards Aunt Josephine's house they looked around the town.

"If our dream was real… then how did we end up back where we started?" 

"I don't know… it all seems weird to me," said Klaus.

At the mention of this, Klaus put his hands in his pocket. With a weird expression on his face, he pulled out what seemed to be a lock… the exact lock that Klaus had unlocked from his dream. Violet gasped in shock, for she recognized the lock as well.

"You don't think we are crazy… are we crazy?" asked Violet with hope in her voice.

"Well… I mean… this is proof that the dream was real… but no one else is going to believe us because… um… well… they didn't have the same dream as us."

"Well, here we are," announced the taxi driver.

The taxi driver took their suitcases out of the trunk, set them in front of the peeling white door and drove down the hill with a _toot!_ of his horn for a good-bye. There was a soft squeak as the peeling white door opened and from the behind the door appeared a pale woman with her white hair piled high on top of her head in a bun.

"Hello," she said smiling. "I'm your Aunt Josephine."

"Hello," Violet said cautiously before stepping forward to meet her new guardian. Klaus stepped forward behind her, and Sunny crawled forward behind him, but all three Baudelaires were walking carefully, as if there weight would bring the house toppling down from its perch. 

"Hey Violet?"

"Yeah Klaus?"

"Let's hope that this too isn't a dream."

And with that said the orphans couldn't help wondering how a woman who was so afraid of Lake Lachrymose could live in a house that felt like it was about to fall in its depths.

THE END!

And don't do drugs!

hehe...now does everyone know why i cant write a sequel? Cause its already been written! so go read the SOUE books if you want a sequel lol...untill then...i highly recomend reading some of my other fics if u need something to read


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